Reveal Me Read online

  "Do you think yourself above such a station?" His sharp tone cuts through my thoughts.

  "Nnn...oo, Sir." My normal confidence folds.

  "Then move."

  With a lack of grace I stand. My fingers fumble over buttons, pins, zippers, and snaps. It is humiliating not to perform the most mundane of tasks without elegance. Just weeks ago, I glided through the club to looks of awe. The power no one questioned. Now all I can think of is my fall to disgrace and the fear which put me in this place.

  I pull up the gray pencil skirt and pull the gray polo shirt over my head. The uniform is utilitarian. Meant to strip a person down to the bare essentials and build them up again. In this moment I am nothing. In this place no one can depend on me because I am the lowest of a household. Temporarily, the weight of my world slips from my shoulders.

  "Much better. Ana will show you to your room. You will not speak. There is tea and food in your room. At eight o'clock, report to my study for confession."

  He turns on his heel and disappears down the hall.

  A young woman of twenty-two or so appears before me. Her uniform is similar to mine, but she's earned her colors. It signifies how she's worked her way through a significant amount of self-awareness and understanding under Dominick's tutelage.

  Without a word, I follow her up the staircase to the smallest room in the house. It is referred to as the closet, and as its name implies, it was once a walk-in. Now, it houses a twin-size horizontal Murphy bed, which currently looks like a couch. To the left is a meditation mat and to the right, a kneeling desk in the corner. On the far wall is a window and the only light source for the room. When it is dark outside, one must learn their way in the darkness and take advantage of the knowledge gained in the light. The symbolism is subtle but not lost. I've spent many a night of punishment or penance in this room. I can only imagine my fate after the confession.

  "There is tea on the desk. I've placed cucumber sandwiches and a small salad on the tray. When I leave, this room will be dark. I am sorry I can't leave you any light, but Master was specific in his instructions. He said you'd know exactly what to do."

  I turn and face her, forcing a smile. My head nods.

  Using the fading light from the window and the ambient light from the open doorway, I move to the desk. My legs fold under me in a kneel just as the hallway light fades. The evening light from the window casts dark shadows around the room.

  I pour a cup of tea and inhale the scent of Creamed Earl Grey, one of my favorites. Knowing he remembered lightens my mood slightly. I grab a sandwich and turn to sit on the floor. Legs not used to kneeling stretch in pain. My stomach growls as I bite into the bread. This is a simple meal of comfort for me. Dominick always rolled his eyes when he asked what a simple comforting meal looked like. He may never have understood, but it was obvious he'd paid attention.

  By the shadows on the wall, I estimate it is close to seven o'clock. I know he will send word before my given time in the office. Sated by the food, I let my eyes drift closed.

  Light hits my eyes. I blink them open against the assault. The surrounding room is pitch dark except for the stream of light spotlighting me.

  “It’s time,” Ana states.

  Dread runs through my body. Carefully I stretch and stand to follow her. I always hated confession. They were a way to verbalize all the racing thoughts, confess mistakes, and make tangible the release of failure through physical means rather than holding them inside.

  Dominick is a master of the confession. One who can walk the line of finding the truth, even when it isn’t clear. This time, however, I know exactly what I’m hiding.

  Ana turns, walks down the hall, and heads down the stairs. Without a word I follow. When we approach the French doors to Dominick’s office, she makes the silent command to kneel. For a long second, I look at her incredulously, but she doesn’t move.

  Finally, I nod and kneel at the door entrance. Ana knocks on the door above me.

  “Come,” Dominick says behind the door, and it opens in front of me. She steps inside and waits in silence.

  “Thank you, Ana. You may retire for the evening with free time.”

  “Thank you, Master.” She nods her head in deference, turns precisely on her heel, and walks from the room.

  In front of me, Dominick gives the silent command to stand in front of him. I fumble to my feet and walk to the point he commands. My feet move a shoulder width apart and one hand cups the other behind my back, eyes straight ahead.

  “You’re out of practice.” It is a statement, not a question.

  Silence hangs in the air and I fight the desire to move my body.

  “You are here for confession. As such, after the confession I will deliver a penance to help you remove the obstacle between us. Normally, confession is an option, but you’ve already lied today.”

  A sigh escapes my lips, and I brace internally for his reaction.

  “Normally, a Dominant would not be in this position, but your words today tell me you’ve relinquished your position through your actions. A true disappointment. Your job, in that position, is to protect, care, guide and provide an example for those who follow your lead. It can be a burdensome position, but when done right, it is rewarding beyond measure.”

  Each word punctuates my internal thoughts. I want to scream that there’s an exceptionally good reason for my poor external actions. To tell him they were based in protection and not harm, but my lips remain firmly shut. He is correct.

  Dominick walks around from the desk and moves to sit in the chair in front of me. Once he is seated, he makes the sign to kneel.

  I fall to my knees and work to keep the painful posture.

  “Shall we begin?” he asks and gives silent permission for my verbal response.

  “As you wish, Sir.”

  He raises one eyebrow, but no other words or commands follow it. I know he expects me to fall into the ritual long ago established, but not one part of me wants to take part.

  Dominick waits patiently for me to make the next move. Nothing in his manner is rushed or demanding. He waits until I am ready, knowing each moment of silence works on my need to express my apologies and explain why I am here.

  I close my eyes and gather courage. When I open them, I begin to speak.

  “On my knees before you, in humble submission, I come to you in an act of confession. In this place I seek your guidance, your firm hand and resolution of those things I hold internally, perpetrated or thought in a way which does not serve me, or my relationships, to be their best. Here, I seek absolution of my mistakes so I may grow from them. I give myself to you to provide a physical path to release these things.” I chant the words I’ve not said in years but sit readily on my tongue. “My last confession was over five years ago.”

  “In this place I will provide the guidance as I see fit. Here I will offer you the forgiveness you seek, a path for repair, and the physical expression of resolution through pain and penance. To move forward, you must be willing and able to accept these paths without reservation or trespassing upon other relationships. Do you seek and offer these things?”

  “I do,” I state.

  “Then let us start with why you lied about your reason for showing up in my class today.”

  Silence engulfs me, but my mind races. My relationship with Dominick was always tumultuous. While I originally came to him in the position of a submissive, it quickly turned into one of consensual slavery. In that place, I found a peace and contentment I’ve rarely duplicated. In every way he owned me, and I followed his lead.

  In me he saw something I did not always see in myself. Through fire and persistence, he honed my skills as a top and taught me the other side of power exchange relationships. Each step created through exactness. A consistent repetition of skills until I did them with accuracy.

  Over time, I took on clients as a professional. Sessions were always about command and control. The discipline of self and emotions held to a level to c
reate a hard exterior and give the client a place of release. The men and women he introduced me to were often in powerful positions, which later served my ability to create the world I normally inhabited.

  He always hated my duplicative desires. Our ultimate falling out came from my desire to appear “vanilla” to my family and the world. To be successful in that realm and prove I could be just as successful in the world I’d chosen to step into. Dominick’s warning haunts my thoughts now.

  “You can’t live both at the same level. Something always gives, but if you try, make sure you always have a strong team around you. There are no secrets in life that time does not reveal. Always tread carefully.”

  I thought him to be an arrogant old fool and stormed out of his house. While we’d repaired the initial riff between us, I swore I’d never train others in his manner or harshness. I would show him I could do it all without him.

  It is not lost on me as I kneel before him that my arrogance and over-confidence brought me here. Time did indeed reveal all my secrets.

  “My worlds collided,” I start, my voice a whisper. “A need I did not know still existed lulled me into a place of false security.”

  Dominick does not move. He does not speak. In his silence, I know I’ve not given him what he wants to know.

  “I was dating a PR client’s brother. She is in a contentious Congressional race. Someone in the press ran the plates to one of the vehicles to the ‘wrong’ persona. It quickly became headline news.”

  The words come out in a rush. Of all the reasons I walked away, this is the easiest one to explain, and I hope it will satisfy him.

  “When the headlines read he was out with a professional Dominatrix, the scandal was a typical DC explosion. At the time he and I were out, I was in my 'vanilla persona.' The pictures did not catch my face, but his was on full display. I wanted to help calm the situation by removing myself from it. I’m sure we’ve lost the client and others lost their positions on the campaign.”

  My head falls and I blink back tears. I can hear Reece’s accusations and tone swirl with the weight of thoughts in my mind. My heart breaks all over again. Everything in me hopes the explanation is enough.

  “How long ago did you leave, Atlas?”

  Dominick’s question is simple, and I feel the weight of his stare.

  “Six weeks.” The answer comes automatically from my lips.

  When I finally center myself and look up, I know I’ve miscalculated my situation.

  “Let me clarify my understanding. You walked out on a professional PR client, over a situation you created by your own lack of focus. You did not tell your business partner or your security lead, both of whom you’ve known and trusted for almost a decade?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I work to put confidence and steel in my voice.

  “For six weeks you’ve not contacted them? They do not know where you are or if you are alive?”

  His words shape the narrative in a way that makes me feel foolish. Without giving all the other situations in play, they make me sound like a weak fraud. None of them sound dominant, caring, leading or protective. It sounds like the break-up of a silly little girl who was only an imposter in the life I created.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  They are the only words I allow to cross my lips. Any amount of pain or penance is worth it to keep everyone safe from Edmund’s threats. When he’d first proposed, I thought it was an infatuation between a client and a professional, but it had escalated. He has the means to make good on every one and even worse if he chooses.

  “Is that the sole reason you walked away?”

  I press my lips together and refuse to acknowledge the question. To say anything would create a lie or expose him to possible harm. With a deep breath, I brace for my next words.

  “In these things I confess and ask your guidance in redeeming the mind through the penance of the body to focus self. Your guiding hand gives me the strength to know excellence is not an accident. It results from high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution. Determining destiny by choice not by chance, through the wise choice of many alternatives. I give to you my willingness to take your council and follow the immediate path to find wisdom in my constant strive for such excellence.”

  The chant is both my execution and my salvation. In it, I end the need to confess further. By it, I hand over my immediate fate to Dominick, and all I can do is wait.

  The only break in the silence is my shallow breaths. My body aches. Still Dominick does not move or make a sound. Not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes, my own stare at the floor between his feet.

  “Forgiveness is not due you. There are things you aren’t telling me. Still, you’ve come to me knowing my expectations. Seeking a haven in my abode and under my roof. Thus, punishment and penance are due for a tongue which will not confess. You will find the list of them, and the necessary supplies, in your room upon waking.”

  I sigh in a combination of dread and relief. All I need is time to figure out what I need to do next. It isn’t the first time I’ve faced this situation, and in comparison it feels like the best option. I knew what I would face here, but I also knew I would be cared for and safe.

  Dominick rises from his chair, and I lift my head enough to be able to see his hands. He moves around the desk and sits. Without another word, he hits a button on his phone and dials.

  The dial tone slips into a ring and on the second ring is picked up.

  “Good evening, The Empyrean Club. How may I help you this evening?” The voice comes across the speaker phone.

  “Good evening. Thomas Kinkaid, please.”

  My head snaps up and I scramble to my feet.

  “NO!” I scream. “You can’t…”

  In quick order, Dominick signals for silence and commands me to kneel. Automatically my body follows both and I fall to the floor. My heart races in a state of panic, but the look on his face tells me I am already pushing his patience.

  “Kade.” I hear the reply on the other end of the phone. Dominick picks up the receiver and presses a button on his phone.

  “Thomas. It’s Dominick. Yes, it has been quite a bit of time, boy… I’m sure you’ve been busy. It is okay… I understand why you’ve not kept in touch lately.”

  There’s a long pause and I shake my head no, pleading silently with him.

  “I see… It has come to my attention you might be a bit extra busy at the club as of late… Why didn’t you tell me Atlas was missing?”

  His tone is even and stern. A dark look crosses Dominick’s face. I know I’ve placed Kade in this position and now he’s going to face Dominick’s ire because of me.

  “Yes. Well, you and your team can rest easy, but I expected you to call in such a situation… Atlas is here… Just this afternoon….yes…showed up in my class… Did she? Samantha is faster than I remember then… She’s fine… no, she’s not hurt… No, tell Samantha to stay there… I don’t know… no… I’ll have someone from the household pick you up tomorrow…I understand, we’ll expect you at Logan wheels down around 4:00p or so... I’ll make your arrangements from here… No, I’m not happy with her either… Very good.”

  Dominick places the receiver back in the cradle.

  “Whatever is going on with you, we’re going to get to the bottom of it, even if I have to bring the world you carry on your shoulders crashing down around you. I trained you better than this and I expect more from you.”

  For the first time in weeks, a tendril of anger replaces the edge of fear. I walked away to protect my entire world, and no one is going to destroy it. With effort, I pull my shoulders back and stare hard back at Dominick.

  A smile curls around the edges of his lips.

  “About time you showed up, girl,” he says. No amusement penetrates his tone.

  “You are dismissed.”

  Without dropping my gaze, I stand and back out of the room. Once my feet touch the threshold, I turn on my heels and head back to my room.
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br />   Chapter Three

  Soft light filters through the windows. Under me, the pillow is damp from tears shed in the night until my body faded into the darkness of sleep. Scenes from the previous day skim across my mind. After six weeks of moving around the East Coast, my cash reserves are running low, and I need to find a way back without eliciting more action from Edmund.

  I thought I could easily maneuver around Dominick in the safety of his household. Now I am not sure why I thought it would be so easy. Ego is such a dangerous thing, and he is as demanding as ever.

  With a stretch, I sit up in the bed. My body aches from the lack of sleep and the unpracticed positions. With each passing minute, the room brightens with the rising sun. On the meditation mat in front of me sits a basket placed there sometime while I slept. I shudder at the possibilities running through my mind. Still, I reach out and pick up the envelope on top and slip the parchment paper from it.

  My fingers tremble as it unfolds. With a deep breath, I focus on the words.

  “Atlas, my disappointment knows no bounds in your current set of actions. Like a wayward child, you return to my world but unlike the prodigal, you are not contrite or forthcoming. During your training, there were so many hopes and possibilities for your future but from my current perspective, you’ve squandered them all. I can only hope I am wrong.”

  The words are a punch in the gut. Dominick’s violent disappointment in me is worse than any physical rituals he may place at my feet.

  “In this basket lie the implements of your physical torment. As you desire to carry your burden without speaking, so will you suffer without direct witness; but do not think it is without notice. Your room, as you are aware, houses several small cameras to verify your ability to at least follow directions.”

  My hands shake. I almost want him to yell at me. Everything in me wants someone to hold me and show me a path to protect those I love so deeply, but it isn't offered because I do not ask for it. When I walked out, I knew it was to be a lonely road, but I did not imagine this harshness.